Once your a mom..... that's all you are

I have been a mom almost half my life.... yup I said it.... almost HALF of my LIFE. And now I have a whole heap of kids.. I love my little heathens to death. I am a great mom! Of course I make mistakes, don't always do things the proper or conventional way... but none the less I am happy with the way I am raising my kids.

I have had a baby in my teens, twenties and thirties.... and noooooooo I don't think I will be having a baby in my forties... I'm 99% sure I am done. Some where between then and now I have lost myself. It's not as bad as it sounds.

Becoming a parent.... is the easy part. Being the parent is the hard part. No more up and going some place. The first time you are called not by your name but (INSERT CHILDS NAME HERE)'s Mom... is kinda cool. But when you become So-An-So's Mom, That Kid With The Big Eye's Mom and The Pretty Little Girl's Mom... you start thinking... yeah I'm all that but I am also ME...... do you want to know my name .... kinda thing.

God forbid you head out to a bar/lounge (whatever) and someone asks if you have kids... you get that look like ...you got kids and your here instead of home with them. Well WHY THE FUCK NOT.... why because I have kids I'm supposed to sit in the house 24/7 ... I am a grown ass woman... I can do what the fuck I want to do... shit you don't know me.. I'm with my kids alllllllllllll the time. No sitters, No Nothing.... if its 5pm in the middle of a blizzard and I need something from the store to finish fixing dinner. I am dressing 2 little kids and trooping it to the store. SHIT I NEED A DRINK every now and then.

Or what about when someone you know sees you outside (GASP) without the kids... and they ask where are the kids... I have this over whelming urge to say Duck Taped to their bedroom door...... Or what about when someone asks where the kids are and I say oh they are upstairs with their dad.... that person replies oh He's Babysitting... NO YOU FUCKIN DOUCHE .... hes NOT BABYSITTING ... they are his fuckin KIDS.....

I know I have kids, I know I need to be responsible. I know I know I know. And you know what I AM.... so if you ever see me dancing on a bar table, swaying to my own beat... eyes closed...... just know I am BEING ME.... not MOM and FUCK YEAH I DESERVE IT.